Last week I had to take William to the pediatrician for an ear infection. While we were waiting to see the doctor, a young couple came into the office carefully carrying their 6-day old baby. My eyes immediately filled with tears. It somehow simultaneously feels like a lifetime ago and just yesterday that my husband and I did the same thing with Will.
As his first birthday approaches, I’ve been thinking a lot about the ways I’ve changed since becoming a mom: my boobs have gone MIA, my wine intake has significantly increased, and I spend an unbelievable amount of time at Target. But more importantly…
I take better care of myself
wife mom, happy life baby. If I’m not feeling my best, I’m not going to be the best mom I can be. There’s no doubt that my life 100% revolves around William, but I’m learning that I need to take care of myself too, perhaps more now than ever before. I make a point to do fun, little things for myself every once and a while—getting a manicure, buying a new pair of shoes, grabbing a drink with a friend—just because. When William was 6-months old, I joined a local gym solely because it offered childcare. He’s still adjusting to being away from me for a whole hour 3-5 days a week, and some days you’d think I was torturing him by the way he cries when I drop him off! But I know how necessary it is for me to have that time (albeit small) solo. I’m a better version of myself after I finish that 60-minute body combat class, of after sweating everything out on the elliptical. I have more energy to chase him around and a more positive attitude in general.
I’m more social
Before William, I was a bit of a hermit. I loved staying in on the weekend and cancelled plans more often than not. Now that I’m a mom (especially a stay-at-home mom), I practically get hives if I’m in the house for 3+ hours during the day. I crave going out and talking to other adults! I’m pretty sure the employees at Trader Joe’s actively try to avoid me when I go shopping because I will talk the ear off of anyone who will listen. As I mentioned here, I try to do as much as possible with my local moms club and have met so many incredible ladies through it.
I’m less rigid
I used to get the worst anxiety when things didn’t go as planned. Now I consider it a miracle when things go my way! Before Will, I was never late for anything…in fact I was usually 15 minutes (at a minimum) early. Now I feel as if I’m constantly sending “sorry, running a few minutes late!” texts because William decided to snooze an extra half hour or because he thought it would be fun to spit up all over my outfit as we’re rushing out the door.
I sometimes resent my husband
Nowhere did I say all of this change was for the best, right? Ha. It all started that very first night in the hospital after William was born. I was up all night nursing and changing diapers while he…slept through the entire thing. How could he just sleep as if he didn’t have a care in the world?! I sometimes resent him for being able to return to his pre-dad life while he’s at work, for getting a break, for being able to focus on something other than baby crap for an extended period of time. Truthfully though, I think I resent him the most for being able to pee in peace.
I’m more thankful for my husband
Even though he slept peacefully through his first official night as a father, he is an amazing dad. There’s nothing quite like seeing your husband become a father and care for the beautiful, tiny human you created together. My heart swells watching Will’s eyes double in size when he sees Jason for the first time in the morning. I’m incredibly thankful—more now than ever—for my rockstar husband who works tirelessly for us. He’s the reason I can stay home with Will and talk to strangers on the Internet via my little blog 🙂
I’m more confident
Even though I am far (oh, soooo far) from being a perfect mom, in many ways I feel more confident than ever. There’s something about being a parent that makes you feel like a badass. You make the rules, and you say what goes! I also find myself not giving a shit about what other people think. Oh, you think my son isn’t dressed appropriately? Thanks for your input!!! Oh, you think my blog is silly? Good thing you aren’t forced to read it, buh-bye. I have more important things to worry about these days, I suppose.
But back to my boobs deflating…will they ever come back???????????????????????????????